🧸SOCIALLY-SPECIFIC SERVICES🧸
✨i will do weird stuff for u (ethically??)✨
🏠 home 📀 bundles 🧸 services 💀 lore 📧 love letter? 🛒 CART (0) ♡
⚠️I WILL DO ALMOST ANYTHING (LEGALLY GRAY ZONE)
PERFORMED VIA ZOOM/TELEPATHY/EMAIL/LUCID DREAMS ⚠️
🔥🎤

✨ONE-OF-A-KIND @ HANDLES✨

$12.22
tell me ur vibe and get a bangin' @handle
or let me surprise you with an Oliver Original
💌📱

✨FAKE INTERNET BOYFRIEND HOUR✨

$21.55
60 mins of delusion
i will send u supportive texts & pretend to care about your day
🕯️🔮

✨CURSE REMOVAL (REAL??)✨

$6.66
energy work performed via zoom
no refunds if u were never cursed to begin with
💼🤡

✨LINKEDIN REWRITE (UNHINGED)✨

$24.99
confuse and intrigue recruiters
i will add that u "synergize vibes and leverage chaos"
🧽⭐

✨A LA CARTE SPONGEBOB ONE-LINERS✨

$7.77
i will record or perform iconic lines for u
choose any line: "is mayonnaise an instrument?" "firmly grasp it" etc. i will do my worst.
💡🤝

✨SPITBALLING SESSION✨

$29.99
30 min brainstorm chaos
we hop on a call and i help you figure out whatever ur stuck on — business ideas, art blocks, life choices, revenge plots. no judgment, only velocity.

🗣️ REVIEWS 🗣️

"the roast session left me in tears (the bad kind but also good kind??)"- cryptid_crusader_69
"fake boyfriend hour cured my loneliness for exactly 47 minutes. worth it."- sadgirl_era_forever
"my linkedin now says 'professional goblin' and i got 3 job offers. oliver is a genius"- fml_fr_69
"the spongebob impression was so bad it circled back to amazing. 'firmly grasp it' will be my notification tone."- big_rick_energy
"spitballing session unblocked my creative flow. we came up with 14 dumb ideas and 2 good ones. 10/10 would ramble again"- bob_johnson
💾 ALL SERVICES ARE PERFORMED WITHIN 10 BUSINESS YEARS 💾 | NO REFUNDS, ONLY REGRETS 💾 | SPONGEBOB NOT AFFILIATED (obvi)

© oliver dixar - all COPYWRITES reserved ♡

returns? no | shipping? lol | mission? accomplished

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✦ YOUR HAUL // TOTAL DESTRUCTION ✦

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