✦ OLIVER DIXAR FIRM ✦
HOME OF THE HAUL ✨⚡🌀

🎴 SOMETIMES YOU WANT TO GO WHERE OLIVER DIXAR ALWAYS FIRM. 🧲
✦ MAGNETS ATTRACT SUCCESS ✦ ✦ STICKERS ARE ETERNAL ✦ ✦ GET UR SPONGEBOB IMPRESSIONS HERE ✦ ✦ FREE BAD INTENTIONS WITH EVERY ORDER ✦ ✦ NEW HANDLES AND GAMERTAGS FOR PROS ✦ ✦ MAGNETS NEVER LIE ✦ ✦ STICKERS BRING WORLD PEACE ✦ ✦ MID SPONGEBOB IMPRESSIONS AVAILABLE ✦
🏠 FIRM HQ 🛒 THE HAUL 📀 BUNDLES 🧸 SERVICES 🌀 LORE 💀 SEANCE 🛒 CART (0)
⚠️ CAUTION: WE'RE STILL WORKSHOPPING THIS HERE SITE ⚠️

🔻 WHAT'S IN THE FIRM? 🔻

📀🧲
STICKER & MAGNET BUNDLES
mystery packs • glitch sheets • cursed cryptids • bulk chaos
✦ click to add to haul ✦
🧸💌
SOCIALLY SPECIFIC SERVICES
personal roasts • fake boyfriend hour • spongebob lines • spitballing sessions
✦ click to add to haul ✦
✦ I LITERALLY DON'T CARE ✦
(also the magnets might be haunted, but whatever)
existential state: pending
customer support: a ouija board
return policy: you can't prove anything
shipping: eventually, maybe
🌊
current vibe: a VHS tape melting in a microwave
recommended action: stare at the wall for 3 hours
📼
oliver's status: lost in a cornfield
probably arguing with a scarecrow about aesthetics
🧠
brain cell count: 0.5 (shared with a goldfish)
it's your turn, but the goldfish forgot the password
⭐ "this magnet gave my fridge a weird aura. 10/10 would haunt again." — some cryptid
💀 "oliver called me a 'sentient pile of laundry' and i've never felt more seen" — @dirty_sock
📀 "the sticker arrived in a pizza box. i'm not complaining." — confused but happy
🧸 "fake boyfriend hour turned into a 3-hour debate about whether cereal is soup. worth it." — emotionally unavailable

🔻 FIND THE GHOST 🔻

📡 SEND A MESSAGE INTO THE VOID 📡

(response time: 3-363 business days)

💾 TELL UR FRIENDS 💾 | DISCOUNT CODE: "VAPORWAVE" (DOES NOTHING) 💾

© OLIVER DIXAR // 1998-2026 // ALL AMIRITES RESERVED

RETURNS? HA | SHIPPING? SOMEDAY? | PRIVACY? IN THIS ECONOMY?

✧ MADE WITH LOVE // AND SOME SPITE // AND AN ANAL FISSURE OR TWO ✧

×

✦ YOUR HAUL // TOTAL DESTRUCTION ✦

(you'll be redirected to Stripe's secure payment page)